A Navy Commander began teaching Sunday School for young children. One Sunday, the Pastor asked one of the Commander's 4-year old students what she had learned that day.  "Well," she said, "I learned all about the ten commanders. Isn't it sad that they're always broke?"
In Sunday School a young lad was told to draw a picture of the Hebrews' flight from Egypt. He came home with a picture of an airplane, the passengers all with halos and one person up front without one. When asked about it, he explained,  "Oh, that's Pontius, the pilot."
After hearing the Christmas story, and singing "Silent Night" a Sunday School Class was asked to draw what they thought the Nativity Scene might have looked like.  One boy did a good likeness of Joseph, Mary, and the infant Jesus, but off to the side was a roly-poly figure. The teacher, afraid that he had somehow worked Santa Claus into the scene, asked him who that was. She wasn't sure whether she was relieved or even more worried when the boy replied, "Oh, that's Round John Virgin."
The Lord's Prayer has always been easy for kids to misinterpret. One little boy said "Harold be Thy name." Two other lesser known prayers though are a little girl saying: "Give us this day our jelly bread." Or the little New York boy who petitioned God to "Lead us not into Penn Station."

Favorite Hymns, by Profession

Dentist - "Crown Him with Many Crowns"
Weatherman - "There Shall be Showers of Blessing"
Building contractor - "The Church's One Foundation"
Tailor - "Holy, Holy, Holy"
Golfer - "There is a Green Hill Far Away"
Politician - "Standing on the Promises"
Optometrist - "Open Mine Eyes that I Might See"
Internal Revenue Service - "All to Thee"
Gossip - "Pass It On"
Electrician - "Send the Light"
Shopper - "Sweet By and By"

From Gary Larsons Final Off the Wall Calendar